Paris

I'm embarrassed, discouraged and in awe all at the same time. I guess the emotion of being "in awe" during a competition isn't the most productive, but witnessing (and being a small part of) last Friday's Paris Areva Meeting was cool (World Lead by Christina Obergfoell, great depth of competition), and also terrible.

I warmed up okay. My body was pretty achy, which it had no reason to be after my first business-class international plane ride! The weather was fine and we were in a stadium, meaning wind wasn't really a factor.

My first throw sky-rocketed and landed at like 55-56m (as far as I could tell; it could've been more or less). I had too much pride and intentionally fouled it. My second throw went right out of the sector, but I ran through the foul line as soon as it left my hand because I could tell where it was headed. There were only 8 women in the competition, so I knew I would make finals, but figured I should have a legal mark to do it. That meant that I marked my third throw, even though I knew it was bad. To find out how bad, you can look at the results, because I'm not going to say it.

After that start, I really, really had to fight to get back up to 58-ish meters, which happened on my last throw and still meant that I was last by 3 meters. I have to take pride in the fact that I did manage to claw my way back to a distance that would not have been last in (I don't think) any other Diamond League meet except the one that I got last at in Zurich last year. And three people didn't throw over 60m in Zurich last year, whereas I was the only one to not throw over 60m in Paris (and I threw a meter farther in Zurich).

I've been in Cologne, Germany since Sunday, training at a facility in Leverkusen where I've trained for the past two summers. I'm happy here! I know the city, I'm familiar with how to get around, I'm living with a group of people I like in an awesome set of apartments that are equipped with washing machines and internet, and my little bit of German has come flying back to me! My idea of how to throw has also come back to me, and now I just need to apply it. I'm competing at a small meet in Bottropp, Germany tomorrow afternoon, and I'm looking forward to a low-key setting (with some familiar faces) where I can focus on remembering that good technique means far distances.